A gay son’s powerful letter standing up for his younger brother who recently came out to his parents last week has gone viral.
Reid took to Twitter on Friday to share his emotional letter sent via text to his father after his brother came out to his family over the Thanksgiving holiday.
“So I love my parents and I won’t tolerate mean comments… but understand we are from a really southern, conservative background and me coming out was tough. My brother coming out last week was tougher,” he tweeted. “It took me that long to process but my dad needed to hear this.”
Here’s the message he sent to his father:
Hey, I want to preface this text by saying I love you and you’ll always be my dad. I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me and I have a lot of respect for you.
But a comment you made on the drive to the airport has kept me up all night every night this week. I don’t expect a text back from you and I don’t even know if I want one. But this needs to be said.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it makes me and your mom feel like we’ve done something terribly wrong as parents.”
How do I not take that the wrong way? Essentially you are saying that me being gay is a result of terrible parenting. That this is a pestilence we were cursed with. That I am a curse.
The belief system you and mom were raised on are not mine of [redacted] responsibility to tiptoe around or be sensitive to. Whatever you were taught about gay people-it is wrong. Point blank, period. End of story.
Imagine a parent telling their straight son he is a mistake. How wrong does that sound? That’s how you sounded to me in the car.
It is just as likely your child will be straight, bi, gay, trans, etc. You just weren’t raised to believe that and I guess I have to accept that. But I won’t accept feeling the way I’ve felt all week.
Eight years ago I came out to you and it’s been a journey for our whole family. You’ve been amazing all things considered and I thought we’ve made a lot of progress. You even invited my boyfriend at one time on vacation. Yet my brother comes out and it’s like we hit the reset button. It’s like you forgot everything you learned about love and compassion.
Be better and do better. Expand your mind. And if you don’t, fine, I can’t force you to and I certainly won’t bring this up again. But the train has left the station, Dad. My life is on the path it was always meant to be. Get on board or don’t. I will find happiness one way or another. It breaks my heart I have to even ask this of you.
Just because I love men doesn’t make me less of a man. And just because you don’t accept that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
So I love my parents and I won’t tolerate mean comments… but understand we are from a really southern, conservative background and me coming out was tough. My brother coming out last week was tougher. It took me that long to process but my dad needed to hear this. pic.twitter.com/AFn5rtsWdj
— reid (@thereidfeed) December 6, 2019
In a follow-up tweet, Reid thanked Twitter users for their supportive responses and also provided us with a quick update: “A lot of you are asking if I received a response. I did. Sharing more of our conversation feels a step too invasive, but he was kind and loving, and I really appreciate that. Our family is very close and I know I’m privileged in that regard.”
Read some of the responses the viral tweet is getting:
24yrs ago I came out as a teen in conservative Texas unsure how family, friends, or peers would respond. I was ready to have tough conversations like this with those I most loved; I also prepared to walk away from anyone who wouldn’t find a way to acceptance. It’s not easy. Bravo
— Brian Normoyle (@BrianNormoyle) December 6, 2019
people like you and words like this are one of so many reasons i’m proud everyday freakin day to be a part of this beautiful, loving community 🏳️🌈
— A.J. (@ajhisnandez) December 6, 2019
My uncle is gay and was part reason why my grandpa left my grandma. I’ve grown up with LGBTQ+ my entire life. I now extend to my children that it’s all part of normal life to accept people as they are as it doesn’t effect anyone else but themselves. I hope your dad understands.
— BRANDY (@brandy_pdx) December 6, 2019
You and Layton have been on my mind. I am so sorry you even had to say any of that, it’s so unfair. Of all the brothers Layton could have had, it’s no mistake he got you — I’m so glad you have each other. Love you, Reid 🖤
— 𝐊𝐏 (@kenliparker) December 6, 2019
I came out to my conservative, Southern Baptist parents in 2018. I know it can be really rough, even on the good days. The way you handled this shows just how well your parents raised you & even if they can't see it, they ought to be really proud. I wish you everything good.
— Natalie (@natcmau) December 6, 2019
What beautiful words to your father. My father never got to truly know me and I don't think he ever accepted me being gay but my mum was the complete opposite and could not have been more loving. Life is far too short enjoy every single day.
— Nick King (@puritani6) December 6, 2019