A man who identifies as a traditionally heterosexual guy, is seeking advice after accepting to go on a date with a charming gentleman he met on a train.
He took to Reddit to explain that he just recently ended a long relationship with a woman but felt a special connection with a man he struck up a conversation with on a train ride back home.
Read his full post below:
I’ve been in a relationship for the last five years, but we broke up over the summer. I’m trying not to get into anything new, and just enjoy my time in the city as a single guy for the first time as an adult. I’ve slept with a few women since the break up, been on a dozen dates or so. All casual.
Anyway, today I’m sitting and waiting for the metro to go home from work and this guy sits down next to me. The train was delayed, and he mentions he hates waiting more than a few minutes because there’s no cell service underground. I tell him my trick is to load up an interesting article on my phone before coming down, and I read that while waiting.
He asks me about the article, and we talk about it for a few minutes. We talk about where we’re taking the train to (I’m going home, he’s going to dance practice).
The train comes, and I take a seat. He asks if he can take the seat next to me, and I say of course. Now, this guy was fairly effeminate so I figured he was probably chatting me up because he was interested, but he wasn’t being flirty and I love talking to people, so I didn’t want to throw out a “by the way I’m straight.”
I ask him about his dancing, he asks me about work. He’s actually pretty easy to talk to, and we’re making each other laugh, so I’m enjoying the conversation. He finally gives me his name, and I give him mine. We shake hands, and he gives me the most flirtatious eye contact I have ever had.
I felt it like a jolt of electricity through my body. And in a moment things were just different. I suddenly found myself thinking “oh, this guy is pretty good looking” and then all of a sudden I realize I’m talking to a very handsome man who seems to be interested in me, and I get nervous. I realize as we’re talking further that I’m…kind of trying to impress him? All of a sudden I care about his opinion of me, and I’m building up myself up a little bit subtley. it was literally like something had awakened in me all at once.
I get in my head, like “what am I doing, this is a guy, and I’m very straight.” At this point, he notices that I’m kind of tearing at the label of my water bottle and asks me with a smile if I’m nervous. I say no, and kind of…shyly laugh? I’m surprising myself, literally thinking “am I a straight guy being coy and flirty with a man I just met on the subway? Why am I doing this? What is happening?”
He says, “you’re cute, [my name]. Would you want to go out with me on Friday?” And I looked up at him, and as excitedly as if a beautiful woman had asked me the same question, I respond with an enthusiastic “sure, I’d love to.” Literally in shock, beside myself.
We exchange phone numbers, and have really light and vibrant conversation the whole way to my stop. I get off and he says “text me, I’m looking forward to Friday!”
I texted him almost immediately, and we hammer out the details of our date. We’re meeting up for a movie date at my apartment. He says he wants to watch a scary movie, but that he may need me to be strong for him since he startles easily. It’s all turning me on and I’m feeling butterfly-y, I keep replaying the conversation in my head, and smiling the whole walk from the metro stop to my apartment. The whole while thinking what in the hell just happened?!
All of this is just so weirdly exciting. I left the house this morning a heterosexual man who never really entertained the idea of being with another man, and returned with a date set up with a handsome man who’s coming over to my apartment to cuddle and a watch a movie!. What?!
And I’m weirdly way more excited than the dates I’ve been on with women since my break up. I have no idea if I’ll sleep with him on Friday or what (I don’t know the first thing about having gay sex, honestly, so if anybody here has tips, I’m all ears/eyes), but I’m just excited to see him again.
I have no idea what this means for me or my sexuality, but I’m a little nervous and kind of pumped for possibly a new chapter in my life. I’ve been thinking about it, and I would be totally open to dating and falling in love with a man, if there’s a connection like this. I just never knew that I was capable of having one. men were always just buddies to me, you know?
I’m really excited, but also very confused. Why didn’t I ever really have gay thoughts before? Is this how people find out they’re into their own gender?
Can anyone relate or share similar anecdotes? I’m as perplexed as I am giddy.
Many Redditors responded with similar stories.
RumouredCity writes: “I used to work with a guy that changed how I think about this kind of stuff. He moved here from Latin America with his girlfriend of like 8 years and as far as he was concerned, was straight. 2 years into living here they split. After 6 months of being single and picking up the piece of a broken 8 year relationship, he took up tennis to distract himself which led to another male tennis player. He was charmed and was asked out on a date. So he decided to go, he thought the worst that can happen is I’ll walk away with a new tennis partner. They went out and they hit it off. He was confused at first but realized that this person made him feel like he’d never felt and up to this point he’d never even considered a gay relationship.Things got serious with them. I stopped working there a few months later. About 6 months ago I was out to dinner with my wife and who do I see sitting a few tables from us. My ex coworker 9 years later with the same man he fell in love with. Still together. Just enjoy it, we never know when those special people will swoop into our lives. Good Luck I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
JLVD2 writes: “I’m a guy who only recently came out to myself as bisexual. About a year after figuring that out, I got picked up at a party by a very handsome dude. It took me a while to figure out that he was totally flirting with me, and we both enjoyed the game of flirting without being obvious at this party. Despite having fooled around with many men before and since, he’s the only guy I’ve considered dating. Everyone loves the experience of being sexually desired/pursued. All I can say is don’t prejudge, and just roll with it. Who cares how you identify or label yourself as long as you’re having fun and exploring. Feel free to PM if you wanna chat, and good luck on your date. :)”
“Not gay, but firmly believe you fall for a person, not a gender. If a hot woman who I clicked with was into me and asked me out, I think I’d accept pretty fast!,” writes one user. “Relax and enjoy your giddiness and the date itself.”