Girlfriend Seeks Advice After Boyfriend Had Sex With A Man During Short Break Up

In a recent Reddit thread titled “My boyfriend [20/m] had gay sex while we were broken up, what do I [19/f] do?”, a distraught young women seeks advice from her fellow redditors.

She writes:

My boyfriend and I were together 2 years and we broke up for 4 months, I was depressed, because I wanted to make it work.. I was in love with him, and was absolutely heartbroken. He had never been with a guy before me but after we broke up he hooked up with a guy. He said he wanted to try it but didn’t like it. My boyfriend and I got talking again about a month after that, and we have been back together for 2 weeks. I never got the courage to ask how far the relationship went, as I was never ready to hear the answer.. Today, I finally asked him, and he told me that he had sex with a guy and he was the one giving this made me sick to my stomach, I started to cry.It makes me sick to think my boyfriend didn’t wear a condom. Should I ask him if he wore a condom? He showed me that he’s been tested and it came back negative.

I am so sick thinking about it. What should I do? It was a guy that had been trying to get my boyfriend to date him for the longest time. The guy is rude to me and he said “your boyfriend must not have loved you to much because he f***** me while you were broken up.” What should I say to him?

Advice? I want to be able to get over this… He told me he was in love with me the whole time.. Which makes me sicker, because he knew he was still in love with me… all I can picture is them doing stuff..how can I have sex with him again? I’m 19 and he’s 20.

One user writes: “He didn’t cheat on you. You were broken up. You don’t really have standing to be upset about something he did when he was not dating you. That said, you absolutely should ask if he wore a condom and, if not, use condoms with him until you’ve both been tested. This would be true regardless of the gender of the person he had sex with.”

Another advises: “First off: You say the word “gay” and talk about the genders of everyone involved a lot, but I’m not seeing the relevance. Does it matter that it was gay?…Stop thinking about it. If you can’t do that, break up. That’s just common sense; thinking about it fixes nothing.”

What advice would you give to this distraught young woman?