Did Your Straight Friends Treat You The Same After Your Coming Out?

A reddit user recently asked his fellow GayBros if they had experienced any changes in their relationships with ‘straight’ friends after coming out to them.

The high school senior writes:

I came out over the summer, and I expected it to be some eye opening experience where I’d fee a ton of weight lifted off of my shoulder. However, I feel like I’m more isolated now. I still have my female friends, but some of there parents are close minded and refuse to let me over (not because I’m gay, but rather because I’m male). My guy friends seem to not be as playful, nor do they seem ro be as close to me now. It sucks. I just want to be considered “one of the guys.” I was curious if this has happened to other people. I’m heading off to college in a few months, and I was curious as to whether things change there?

Several redditors said they had experienced the same issue: “I also have the same problem. I hang out with three guys from work. I always let them entertain that i’m straight and never correct them. It makes me sad on the inside but i’m the one letting it happen. Dumb problem.”

Some noticed their ‘girl’ friends became friendlier: “I came out at the start of my second year at university, so after all my friends had known me for a year. One thing I noticed was that after I came out, girls I had been friendly with before were a lot friendlier. I’m not really sure what to make of it, does it suggest they saw me as more threatening before I came out simply by dint of the fact I was “straight”?”

Some admitted to pretending they were straight for fear of being rejected by his ‘straight’ co-worker: “I’ve recently become better friends with a straight guy at work. We hung out for our first time outside work, and he was telling me about his relationship problems. It was appropriate, so I also shared a little bit about my guy problems, except I NEVER made any indication of the sex of the person I talked about. He assumed I was talking about a girl, but I didn’t correct him.

I just want to become his platonic friend and be honest with the things I talk about, but I don’t want him getting weirded out. This is such a stupid problem to even exist.”

Another high schooler shared a very different experience since he came out to his friend:

I’ve only come out to a small group of friends recently, and I haven’t noticed anything different other than just a few gay jokes every now and then (we both make them so it’s nothing bad). If anything, I feel like they liked me more since I came out since it meant I trusted them that much.
I’m sad to hear about your experiences that way. It must suck not being treated as an equal anymore. I’m only in High School, so I can’t tell you how things go in college. My older friends tell me a lot of people are more chilled out in college and are accepting.
I don’t know what else to tell you, but I do wish you the best of luck with things.

Some have mixed results: “For me, my friends knew way before I told them. Because I told one of them (who I was closer to) in confidence and then he told all of them after getting wasted. I spent 3 months pretending I was straight when they knew all along that I liked dick. And yes, they did treat me differently, although they never isolated me or questioned it. They’ve supported me and even if it’s hard to have a conversation about “gay” things with straight men, it’s nice to have guy friends. The weirdest part for me is they’ll ask me to go talk to girls for them like she’s supposed to want to talk to me because I’m gay”

Another user writes:

Some yes, some no.

My fraternity brothers were shocked, but they were all more than welcoming.

Some friends expected me to change or start acting more feminine. Once they realized nothing changed, they started acting normal.

Then, I have some friends who stopped talking to me.”

How did your friends and family treat you after coming out? Let us know in the comments section below.