A young gay man has reached out for help after experiencing multiple rejections from sexual partners because of his small penis.
A Redditor named Uwotm8ifukdurmum, says his penis size is prohibiting him from having a relationship and has led him to having suicidal thoughts.
Hookups were never really my thing. I get a little nervous before hooking up with someone who I don’t really know, so grinder was never my thing. I took the more classical (or something), and would date for a little bit and fuck when the moment felt right.
The first guy I was with I began dating in the middle of January. He implied that he goes slow as well, so we dated for a month and a half. By the time we had sex, I was embarrassed but I really liked this guy so I took my clothes off. He lost all of his enthusiasm and only finished out of pity. He texted me next night saying it couldn’t work because of my penis. He was the first person who I might consider a boyfriend in my life, and I was right – nobody would really like me.
I dated guy #2 for about a month. When we went to his place to have sex I could see he was disappointed. He picked up his phone and said there was an “emergency in the family” and left. When I was home he told me that the sex wasn’t satisfying enough. I knew it was for the same reason as the next guy.
Guys #3, and #4 were pretty much the same story with only slight variations.
Guy #5 was really handsome and had a huge cock. I was crazy that I landed a guy like him, but by the time we were going to have sex with me naked (i only have him bjs before) he was visibly weirded out by my penis. We didn’t do anal, but he did finish and leave. He didn’t message me for a week, and he texted me out of the blue saying that he prefers guys with “comparable” penis size to him. I was so hurt I didn’t respond.
Guy #6 was pretty much the same story except he got back to me the day after.
Why do I even continue? Out of 7 people (one guy from last yr too), I have a 0% chance of making it past sex. I live alone, my family hasn’t talked to me in years, I only have a few friends, and I get dumped and sometimes even shamed for my penis if I try to pursue a romantic relationship. No, I do not want to bottom – it usually hurts a fair amount and I don’t find in pleasurable. I can’t top, because my dick is probably too short for Penetration. Why should I go on? I’ve been a relatively active dater this year, and every single time it’s been more or less the same story. Why do I even wake up in the morning knowing I’ll never find companionship? If I’m discreet with my suicide I’ll hopefully be dead long enough so the hospital workers (if I’m found) won’t have to see this disgraceful body.
A fellow “small dicked top” left this piece of advice for the desperate young man:
Though I’d say most gay guys that might not nessacarily prefer big dicks, they certainly don’t like small dicks at the very minimum. And I know people will say that If a person looks at you because of your dick vs your heart/mind n dismisses you, they’re not worth it anyway etc….Now sure that might be true, but at the same time the more one doesn’t match up to our beauty standards/expectations of masculinity etc.. The more and more people you suddenly find aren’t worth it. It’s the hand waving paradox :/.
(See things are changing, whereas men in the past were objectified for what job they did or how much money they had, now they are also objectified for how they look. How big(or not) thier cock is, thier height etc. Also we live in a time, in society that covets, idealolizes big cocks. Bigger is better is mantra of our times, big dick=alpha, big dick=masculinity, its tied up in notions of being the winner, a superior real man come sex god, a big dick means one has an intrinsic value. A big one is seen as an item of lust n envy etc. In contrast a small/average(cuz sadly even that’s not enough anymore :/) is viewed as a negative thing, hugely stigmatised these days. There is not much love & acceptance out there for a small penis. Small penis=meh. Imo i think a small dick is hardly ever shown in a good light, (witness how many everyday normal people name a small one as a turn off/dealbreaker) everyday atittudes seem to not be great either. Its an item open to mockery & generally nastily emasculated, unhung guys excluded. Dehumanised. Laughed at(in a way we wouldn’t laugh at any other genetic trait we have no control over). Held in contempt. Its seen as something to be ashamed of, its seen as a character flaw almost. Less cock = lesser man = worthless in the eyes of many/pop-culture/society etc.
On top of that to an extent its a power thing. Plus it goes inline with the whole dumb paradigm in the gay world of small=bottom/submissive Big=top/dominant.. As a result there’s a huge social stigma n negative connotations around a small penis thus I feel many don’t want to even be associated/fucked by let alone have a small one. As a result a small dick guy is often excluded from the hookup scene(relationships too. Again as mentioned I mean on these dating/relationship focused sites(where we’re told apparently size shouldn’t matter -_- .) Yet to most guys i’ve come across who are seeking a relationship, it seems size is still of huge importance.. Small is not accepted and a big dick is just another item to be checked off of their laundry list, like “not a serial killer” and “has a job.”, “doesn’t like with parents” etc).
Sure I don’t doubt that there are guys out there that like, even prefer smaller cocks for sex. But from my experience these guys are in the minority, often the guys who prefer smaller ones do so cuz there creepy Sph’ers or they like small dicks because theyre a top n see them as submissive/feminine and it makes them feel big/dominant/masculine in comparison. So to clarify I’d say most guys defo like big dicks. Are size queens. When it comes to guys sexual desirability..sadly men are boiled down to their most basic aspects ie. Height n penis size..and then you take all that n throw in bigger is better thinking well youve got your size queen and guys who have issues with small dicks. I think being a size queen isn’t just about wanting a big dick for the pleasure, as I’ve explained it goes deeper than that. So much so I feel alot people don’t even consider themselves size queens/or guys who take issue with SDs as its become so normalised n socially acceptable. It doesn’t help that fact that we are living in a culture(as we do in the West) of stigma, dick size discrimination, labelling of inferiority/incompetence etc. A society conditioned to and to value superficial Social Darwinist perfection etc.. which is bound to make those who don’t match up feel alienated and depressed and only perpetuates everything I mentioned above.
Now personally despite current Western cultural thought and our societal values which inoculates such warped thinking that has allowed that mantra to take off….Bigger is better does not ring true for me)…
I digress: Ultimately it’s the reason I started working out. See now for me i’ve found working out/the gym is big help to me. See ive a small dick n im short and I’m a top to. So im getting buff instead(im going for the beefy musclechub-gut bear look(which will take time). I love musclechub, a bit of beefy hunky belly. I mean dont get me wrong i don’t hate sixpacks. BUT I mean i just feel it makes the guy look more inviting. Less artificial/manuactured looking n more natural when he’s got more than 10% bodyfat. In a time where its the norm, so overplayed n the expected look & seen everywhere.. its nice, refreshing when there’s not a 10% bodyfat, form over function, hard, super lean/defined sixpack ab body in sight. Hunky, portly, beefy musclechub looks sexy as hell also imo. Though having said that i also think a happy medium between six pack abs n beefy muscle is also a good look. For these guys are inspiration to continue lifting & eating well(Guy 1!?, Guy 2!?, Guy 3!?, Guy 4!?, Guy 5!?, Guy 6!?, Guy 7!?… I call these guys hot studs inspirations because theyve amazing bodies and they all have small erect dicks!. Who would pass up n reject them, refuse to be topped by them?. Its heartening, i wish we saw more guys like that topping in our porn(which would go along to helping to break the small penis stigma & exclusion). And if they can look that good, then why cant i(btw which of the four is your favourite?. Mine is guy 1 & 3? theyre all hot, all fucking bangin’ though?). I don’t want to be super big though, just be relative to my height. But I do want size to me. I’m taking the long term approach)…
Sure its shallow and a form of compensation, but i want to increase my sexual market value, i want to have something to feel good about myself/and more importantly take back my dignity n masculinity which being small is constantly taken away & questioned by our sick society. I want to feel like a man you know. I want to work away the rage, saddness and exclusion i feel. Also muscles/a fit body are like beer goggles for most people so I’m getting those xD~.
So yeah its about improving my self esteem, confidence and body image, and if that ends up helping me get laid, then that’s a positive. But its not my main motivation. So its for me. That’s the plan anyway. Maybe you could have a similar plan. It’s a shame we small dick guys have to go so far to be somewhat accepted and to subvert the typical gay world paradigm of big=Top/Dom small=bottom/sub. But what else can one do, I don’t know tbh. You’ll never be able to compete with the hung guys and until human gene/genome editing becomes a thing this is the next best thing in terms of controlling n changing oneself for the better. Giving yourself the edge over the genetic-haves/winners etc, its better than nothing.
What should he do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.