How To Get The Most Pleasure Out Of Being Inside Him: Speed, Depth & Thrusting Techniques

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This column is part one of a weekly sex education series from Woody Miller, sex advice columnist, and author of the best-selling book, How To Top Like A Stud: A Penetrating Guide to Gay Sex. This series combines porn industry secrets with innovative techniques from the latest gay male sex research.

The secret

Think back to the most memorable sex you’ve ever had.

What’s his name?

What do you remember most?

Was it that thing he did with his tongue?

Or was it the chemistry and his sexual energy that made you forget his name?

What did he smell like? How did he touch you?

Did he look into your eyes?

Great sex has less to do with penetration and more to do with passion.

Being good in bed is about where you can take his mind.

Passionate sex requires you to build anticipation.

It can be subtle, like an unresolved kiss.

“He stops an inch before your lips. The space between crackles with anticipation. He doesn’t back up. He doesn’t move forward. You’re caught in his tease. Your heart climbs the stairs. He leans in. Your lips part and…”

Or explicit, like the way he picks you up and throws you up against the wall.

This guide will show you how to combine sexual chemistry with speed, depth and thrusting techniques for mind-blowing sex that you won’t forget.

Getting inside

First tip. Start with the tip.

Of course, you never want to thrust into him without warming him up first.

Use the tip of your dick when you get started.

After you eat his ass, tease his asshole with the tip of your cock for about 5 minutes while you make out with him.

Hold the base of your dick and rub his hole in a circular motion while you’re on top of him. Exhale slowly into his neck. Playfully bite his ear. Look into his eyes. Then kiss him. Keep teasing his hole with your tip.

Take your time.

Good things come on those who wait.

[See the video here]

Now is a good time to ask how he’s doing. Believe me, he’ll tell you. It makes him feel safe. Sex is not a silent experience. Don’t be afraid to speak up and show you care.

All the way in

After eating his ass and teasing his hole for a few minutes, his body should begin to swallow your cock in anticipation.

If you have a big dick ask him then only put the head of your cock in to start. Do not push but let it lay just inside.  Kiss and nibble his neck and breasts. Eventually his body will swallow your cock in anticipation.

Imagine if you had just tried to stick it in like most people do. That can be boring or painful. With enough lube and spit, his body will swallow your cock naturally. The tease will drive him crazy.

If you’re into dominating your partner, hold his hair back into the pillow (softly) and tell him to look into your eyes and not look away.

“Look at me”

“Don’t look away”

If he looks away, give his hair a tug into the pillow to show him who’s in charge.

Or if he’s in control. Roll over with your dick still inside him and let him ride you.


Whole new dimensions of pleasure can be added to lovemaking by being creative with thrusting techniques. The best lovers create a dance of churning, deep thrusting, then shallow thrusting, and then reversing the dance.

But sometimes it’s good to use no speed at all. Sometimes it feels great to slide your cock as far into your guy as you can and hold yourself there.

It’s also a great technique to use later, especially if you want to introduce a little emotion or romance. There’s something about just being in his body, with no movement, that creates an aura of union that thrusting sometimes glosses over.

Gradually faster & gradually slower.

Fluidity and flow are your goals.

Do not suddenly and furiously change speed, depth and technique. It’s all about timing.

After fucking for a few minutes, his mind and body will be hungry for harder, faster thrusts. Chances are, you will be too. Have him experience the full sensation of your penis thrusting at a medium pace.

Then take it to pound town

Going faster should be about 10-30% of a sexual encounter.

When you run out of steam, go harder instead of faster. That means adding more pressure to your thrusts so you’re fucking him hard. The moans will get louder and the slower pace is more intimate.


Males generally like an increase in speed and pressure as they approach orgasm. Give him an intense orgasm by speeding up your thrusts at the end.

Then lose control and fuck him with reckless abandon.

Ever notice some guys stop thrusting at the first sign of cum?

Don’t stop.

When he starts to cum, keep going.

Fuck him until the last drop for a longer more powerful orgasm.

Time to practice?

Maybe your partner is away. Or your Jack’d Pro subscription expired…

Practice fucking and how to get fucked in the privacy of your own home.

Lube up a fleshlight and attach a shower mount to practice your thrusts in the shower. It feels like real skin and the ribbed interior mimics the sensation of slipping past an actual sphincter muscle.

Or get on your back and use the mansize rammer to practice different angles and positions for getting fucked. The extra long handle makes it the perfect toy for target practice.


What’s more, it gives you 8 1/2 inches of deep penetration and a full 2 inches of sphincter stretching satisfaction. Plus, you get the added sensation of life-like raised veins to make each stroke seem like the real thing.

The mansize rammer is only $19.47 with free shipping when you use code: grind.

Tantric thrusting patterns

Tantra is a set of techniques used all over the world to deepen intimacy and increase passion. In the West, we tend to view sex as a source of recreation where the end goal is orgasm. Tantra teaches us to prolong the act of making love for more potent orgasms.

Here are a few tantric thrusting patterns to try. Try to maintain eye contact and breathe at the same pace. The connection you’ll feel will blow your mind.

1. The “Thrusts Of The Heron”: Deep for three consecutive thrusts, then go shallow with just the tip.

2. The “Thrusts Of The Dragon”: Nine times deep, one time shallow. Then reverse.

3. The “Thrusts Of The Phoenix”: Run a pattern. 9 deep/1 shallow, 8 deep/2 shallow, 7 deep/3 shallow, and so on until you reverse it and get to 1 deep/9 shallow.

4. The “Mouse”: Quick and shallow thrusts. This is where you’re fucking him with only half of your dick.

5. The “Eagle”: Hold your penis motionless at the entrance of his starfish then swoop in. Quickly and deeply.

For more thrusting patterns, check out the book where this advice came from.

All thrusting aside…

It’s important to remember why you’re taking this journey in the first place.

You are topping for specific, human reasons:

You want to feel closer to your partner; to give him something of yourself.

He’s loved your cock in his hands and in his mouth and now he wants it inside of him. You want to feel the kind of physical, sexual union that can only come from giving yourself to him.

You want to give him mind-numbing pleasure.

It’s important that you ignite your sexual imagination. Stay present to the beauty of your partner’s body.

Enjoy the psychological and emotional journey that penetrating offers.

Do you avoid getting fucked because it hurts?

Practice with a bigger toy so you’re ready when he is. Try a king size dildo that’s tapered and curved enough to target your prostate while you practice.

Dildos are 35% off here.

Final tips

Try using a circular rather than a thrusting motion. Some guys initially don’t like the straight in-and-out business. Especially if you partner’s penis is unusually stiff, straight or longer than average.

Put lube in his ass and on it.

Put lube on his dick too. That way he can jerk off while you’re fucking him.

If you want to go in as deep as possible, try laying on your side, facing away from your partner as if you were spooning. Because it’s a common sleeping position, it helps the body relax faster and deeper. Don’t be afraid to try things that seem a little odd. If it feels good it’s because your s-curve straightened out and your partner’s penis stimulates the prostate in a more effective way.

Finally, if he’s having trouble taking it, check out the Total Sphincter Relaxation Method for relaxing your partner’s sphincter.

Whew, that was hot. Shower anyone?

How To Top Like a Stud
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Did you like this guide on speed, depth and thrusting techniques?

Then you’re going to love the rest of the book where this advice came from.

You can start reading it right now because it’s a PDF that instantly downloads to your phone, Mac, PC or tablet. It includes even more techniques to keeping your partner’s sphincter completely relaxed, how to overcome hygiene worries and includes new speed, depth and thrusting techniques. You’ll also learn how to discover your inner top and how to get hard and stay hard, even with a condom. Click here for more details.

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